


Get a Clue

by Molly_Hats



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Live Clue, POV Alternating, References to Clue | Cluedo, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-04-13 19:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molly_Hats/pseuds/Molly_Hats
Summary: “The Batfamily holds bimonthly live Clue (Cluedo) games in Wayne Manor. Some of them use it as an opportunity to brush up on disguise. They’ve had to come up with additional characters and weapons since they have so many people.” (First posted to BlandDCHeadcanons)Complete.





	1. Chapter 1

“Ready, Ms. Icterine?” Duke asked, holding out an arm. The suit was an awkward fit, borrowed from Tim, loose in places and tight in others, but it would do for tonight. He resisted the urge to straighten his yellow tie yet again.

Claire Clover took the proffered arm with a tentative smile, her gray opera gloves slipping down on her arm. “If you are, honey.”

Duke cringed, but felt his cheeks grow hot and his grimace loosening into an uncontrollable grin. He quickly looked away to straighten his face, then walked toward the door. With a flick of his wrist, it swung open, revealing the room within.

A small table sat casually laden with a variety of food. Around it on couches and chairs sat familiar faces. 

Tim was adjusting his red cufflinks in the weak reflection of the grandfather clock, trying futilely to wave off Steph, who was shoving a red cape at him and emphasizing her argument with such wild gesturing Duke was worried she’d hit someone. “Come on, Tim, I can barely tell you’re supposed to be red!” She argued, the cape threatening to crush the poofy skirt of her light purple cocktail dress. Cassandra nodded her agreement from behind Steph, crossing her arms across her chest. She wore a simple but elegant black dress, her hair pinned out of her face by a pair of (real?) pearl pins.

In another corner, Damian Wayne pouted in one of the harder chairs, Ace at his feet. “I don’t see the purpose of dressing up.”

Beside him, Dick Grayson wore an impressively detailed police uniform. “Come on, Little D. It’s a chance to improve your skills at disguise. That’s important.”

Tim nodded, looking over his shoulder past Steph to join in. “He’s right, Damian.” 

“Oh come on!” Steph complained, slapping the cape into Tim’s back to bring him back to the immediate crisis. “Just put on the damn cape, Tim.”

“It doesn’t fit with my cover—“

“Shame on you,” Jason said from his place, leaning against the wall away from the action. “After I let you be red!” He clutched his heart and shook his head disapprovingly.

“You were only too happy to be Mr. Gunmetal,” Tim said, giving up on the cufflinks to focus both hands on pushing Steph away.

Jason grabbed his other hand on the cape and pulled it out of his grasp. Steph pinned Tim’s arms behind him as Jason advanced. “Put on the cape, Tim. Red represents.”

Steph grinned at Jason over Tim’s shoulder. “Dead Robins stick together.”

“You bet they do, blondie,” Jason said with a smirk as Tim let out a long suffering sigh. 

Tim rolled his eyes, but stopped trying to fight against Jason tying the cape on. “I hope I’m the murderer,” he muttered. “I am going to kill you both first.”

“You can try,” Steph smiled.

Jason pulled out a pack of cigarettes and slipped two into his mouth, keeping them unlit. They dangled ridiculously from his lips as he smirked.

“Guests!” Alfred’s voice broke through the chatter with the clarity and volume of an actor slicing through the rabble at the Globe. “Dr. Boddy has been murdered! You are all suspects!”

“If I did it, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to not establish an alib--oof!” Damian glared sideways at Dick, who looked innocently up at Alfred. 

“There are clues scattered throughout the mansion. Solve the case to clear your name. Master Malachite, the ballroom. Mister...Gunmetal, the library. Lady Lilac, the conservatory. Professor Crimson, the study. Ms. Greige—“

“Mrs. Icterine,” Claire interrupted, holding up her hand. On the ring finger sat a hair tie carefully knotted so as to resemble a wedding band. 

“—the pool,” Alfred continued without missing a beat. 

“I guess this is where we split,” Duke said.

Claire nodded and pecked him on the cheek. “Stay safe, honey.”

“You too...darling,” Duke said, caught off guard.

Claire smirked and walked out of the room. Duke couldn’t help catching the way she walked in her heels, so much newfound confidence.

“Mr. Icterine, the other study.” Alfred nodded to him and pressed a map into his hand. Duke nodded solemnly, spun on his heel, and headed out into the hallway. He checked the paper. Right…left...left again….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick tally of the characters and their alter egos:
> 
> Claire is Miss Gray/Mrs. Icterine  
> Basically her normal back story. Gotham rich kid, raising money for charity projects with her husband.
> 
> Dick is Officer Azure  
> (Probably could have used his normal backstory with tweaks, but naturally decided to use his skills to be someone else.) He’s a beat cop who’s on the take, trying to support his estranged wife and daughter. He’s got a nasty drinking habit, he’s straight out of film noir, and he’s got Dick’s usual sense of humor but delivers it totally deadpan. 
> 
> Tim is Professor Crimson  
> Inspired by the Riddler to a degree, he’s a university professor who knows more than he tells.
> 
> Jason is Mr. Gunmetal  
> Dr. Body’s rebellious cousin/son/etc. TBH his new bio is basically just his old one without the death and taken up to 11 on everything else just to troll everyone.
> 
> Damian is Master Malachite  
> Ra’s, minus the immortality. He mentions as few details as possible, but implies his station in a league of assassins.
> 
> Duke is Mr. Icterine  
> A smart young newspaper editor who married Claire
> 
> Steph is Lady Lilac  
> A Gotham City socialite and possible underworld princess
> 
> Barbara is Dr. Boddy  
> a computer science professor whose past may have led to her murder
> 
> Cass is Miss Black  
> A sheltered heiress still learning about America on her vacation


	2. Chapter 2

Duke entered the study and took it in, feet still on the threshold. A pair of large leather couches sat in the center of the room on a patterned rug, a coffee table between them. On the other side, in between them, was a bench with a cushion on top. Farther away still, there was a desk with multiple lamps around it, situated in an alcove surrounded by windows. 

He stepped into the room and noticed a fireplace on his wall, complete with elegant stonework, busts he couldn’t recognize precariously balanced on the ledge, and a portrait of the Wayne family circa about three years ago (Duke guessed based on Damian’s apparent age and the absence of both Jason and Cass). 

Duke stepped forward to examine the wall. He peeked around the portrait, trying to see under the frame without disturbing it, wondering how much he was supposed to interfere with the room. Carefully, he pulled the bust up to check underneath it. His hand slipped up as the bust’s head tilted backward.

“Sh**!” Duke hissed, cradling the bust’s head in one hand and feeling for damage with the other. His hand brushed a slick paper object, and he pulled on it. It slid out into his hand, and he held it up to the light of one of the half-dozen small lamps scattered around the room. The words “Miss Black” were emblazoned over a tiny upper-body portrait of Cassandra in a sleeveless black dress, a simple pearl necklace at her throat.

Duke slid the card back in and replaced the bust’s head. 1 item down, 2 to go.

:::

Dick felt around on the wall for the lightswitch, then flipped it. The light illuminated a small room, lined with bottles of wine in wine racks and boxes on shelves below them. Bruce had never been much of a drinker, even to be social, so Alfred was mostly responsible for taking care of the wine cellar.

Dick crouched down and pulled a flashlight from his belt. Were Alfred moderately less fastidious, the dust would give him clues, although maybe Barbara did it this time, to pay Alfred back for his help setting up. 

He noticed a glint as something caught his flashlight’s glow. It didn’t seem like a wine bottle, so Dick moved closer to examine it. It was dark gray, whatever the something was, and blended in with the dark wood of the wine rack. The light it caught, it stretched along its long surface, making Dick contemplate how the heck Babs wedged it in there. He stood up and looked down into the rack, and saw the telltale bent, split shape of the objects’ end.

He shook his head and left the crowbar in the winerack. 

One down, two to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference on the study, I looked at the main room from “Gotham” and the scene in Batman #33 where the boys learned about the Waynegagement. I’m pretty certain that the latter scene drew from the former, because the resemblance is pretty strong--you get the impression they used reference and then shifted it around to work better. I used a lot of reference for this one, actually. 
> 
> This took so long because I had to figure out which cards were in which rooms to keep it consistent. Now that I’ve got that all laid out, the process should be a lot faster.
> 
> Also, if you think Batfam clue doesn’t include a crowbar, you don’t know Jason Todd.


	3. Chapter 3

Claire tentatively stepped into the warm pool room. She flicked on the light in the pool itself, and immediately the room was washed in green-yellow light. 

She slipped off her right glove and dipped a hand into the pool. She wove it back and forth, letting the silky water slide through her fingers, as she contemplated the hiding spots in the room. 

There weren’t many, honestly. Pulling her hand out of the water and shaking it off, she wandered around the pool, examining it from different sides. Making her way over to the table and chairs, she slid her head underneath to check for anything, then pulled up the cushions. 

“Eureka,” she said as she lifted up the second chair’s cushion to find a batarang. She crossed it off of her sheet and tied the chair cushion back down. Two more to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and a bit late. Sorry, guys. Busy week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire visits Jason in the library.

Babs made a bold choice, putting Jason in the library. He knew this place possibly better than any of the others. He’d been the one to buy half the books, and he’d read most of them, or at least had passed their hallowed places on the shelves enough times to recognize the order and know when it had been disrupted.

He scanned the shelves. 

That said, being dead for awhile meant he wasn’t privy to several years of reorganizing. This would be a bit more difficult than he’d hoped.

“Hi, Mr. Gunmetal,” came a new, female voice from behind him. Claire Clover, he recognized from the few times hearing it.

“Who’re you again?” He asked.

“Cl--Ms. Icterine,” she said. “Found anything yet?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s how this game works.”

“Please, it’s a murder we all want solved,” Claire said. Jason noticed that one of her hands was missing a glove, which she’d tucked into the neckline of her dress. A few stray drops of water dripped off of it. “We should pool our resources, so we don't waste all our time each looking through here separately.”

Jason snorted. 

Claire looked confused.

“Pun unintended?”

Claire took a few more seconds, then smiled awkwardly. “Oh. Ha. Yeah.”

“I’ll take pity on you, kid, ‘cause you’re new and you don’t get how it works around here. I’m a loner. Old Lady Boddy and I weren’t on the best of terms, but I want to catch her killer as much as any of you.” He pulled a book off of the shelf and flipped it open, rifling through the pages and checking inside the front flaps.

“Right. Backstory,” Claire whispered under her breath, but Jason heard it all the same.

“Here. We’ve got a lot of stuff to go through, and not a lot of time. It’s gonna be harder than the pool, but hopefully dryer.”

“Hopefully?”

“Boddy lost a few books back when I was a kid to water damage.” 

“Oh.”

Jason replaced his book on the shelf and tossed its neighbor at Claire, who nimbly caught it between her hands like a child catching a frisbee. “Get flipping, Mrs. Icterine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! First chapter published with a decided deadline, and I'm way too proud to hit it. The SAT is done! (Wish me luck with the scores, yikes).


	5. Chapter 5

“How’s it going?” Steph asked, stepping into the wine cellar. 

“Oh! Lady Lilac!” Dick shot up and tipped his hat to her. “Alright, alright.”

“I saw you in the Conservatory,” Steph said. “I know you’re innocent.”

Dick smiled. “Good to know someone’s on my side. I may not be a squeaky-clean cop, but I do my best and I’m no murderer.”

Steph’s eyes lit up at the mention of backstory. “You’re a cop?”

Dick polished his badge with a pair of strokes. “Seven years on the force. Got the job right after I married Yolonda.”

“Have you found anything yet, detective?” Steph asked, running a hand along the winecellar shelves. 

“Not sure if I should tell you, miss,” Dick said. “Ongoing investigation, and all.”

Steph laughed artificially. “Please. We’re all suspects here.” She held up a couple of bills and set them on the shelf between her and Dick. 

Dick’s hand shot out and took the money. He tucked it into his pocket before saying, “I’m only saying this ‘cause I trust you. There’s a wrench and a crowbar in here, and the crime wasn’t in the conservatory.”

“Why do you trust me?” Steph asked.

Dick shrugged. “I’m good at reading faces.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Steph said, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m married,” Dick said firmly. 

“That’ll be harder to remember,” Steph said. “‘Bye, Officer…”

“Azure. Officer Azure.”

“I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.” Steph left the room. Dick left a moment after, headed for the ballroom. He wasn’t sure who he could trust without answers from his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed the further adventures of an aroace trying to write flirting. Dick is establishing his character as a generally flaky film noir jerk cop, and Steph is just having fun and bantering. 
> 
> Anyway, this is short because I have a bunch of homework I should work on, and also I got Life is Strange, which is taking up all my spare time and all my phone space, meaning I can't just causally tap away in a google doc on the go anymore. Worth it, though.


	6. Chapter 6

Tim sat down heavily in one of the study’s blue-green plush chairs, contemplating. He eyed the several deer heads mounted on the wall with distaste, hoping that Babs hadn’t hidden anything in them. Logically, it was a good hiding space--touching them wasn’t remotely appealing. He stood up, his red cape flowing gaily behind him.

A red phone sat on the desk. Tim’s heartbeat quickened. Was this…? He lifted the phone, checking the underside for a card. No such luck. 

He turned his attention to the desk drawers, pulling them open one by one and rummaging through them. When he came up empty, he sat on the floor and flopped his head back to check the underside of the desk. A thought occurred to him, and he sat up quickly, sliding out from under the desk. He pulled out the drawers again, checking under each one. The bottom left had a card taped to the underside.

He smiled as he pulled it off and flipped it. Master Malachite. His smirk dropped as he slid the card back into place. Bummer. He’d hoped for an ally, but there was no way Damian--Master Malachite--Damalachite would share any leads, innocent or not.

\---

Cass made her way to the specially sectioned off “hall”. She eyed the chairs and curtains that lined the walls, along with the cushioned window seats. Good places to hide things, for a hallway. 

Carefully, she moved along one wall, picking up each cream-colored cushion and inspecting the area under it and the wall behind it. About midway along, she spotted the gray corner of a card wedged between the bench and the wall. She tugged, sliding out a card. 

Jason grinned cockily up at her, a gun in each hand and another in his holster (somehow). Cass smiled fondly as her eyes traced over the letters that she knew spelled out his fake name. Her mouth moving with the syllables, she sounded it out. “Mr.”--that stood for “mister,” she knew. “G-u-n”--that was gun. She looked ahead to make sure she hadn’t chunked it in the middle of the word. “M-E-T”--met, “A-L,” al, metal. Gunmetal. 

Her brow furrowed. Was “gunmetal” a color? Everyone had chosen a color except Barbara, Cass knew, but they were such weird colors, not like “black.” Not simple. 

She remembered Jason saying it earlier, though, so it was probably his fake name. Besides, it didn’t matter if she knew what he called himself--she knew it was him, and she’d remember. She slid the card back into place and kept looking, but didn’t find anything. 

She glanced up at the curtains that bordered each window alcove, untying a couple of them and shaking them out. She stood on the bench to check the curtains that covered the window, finding nothing.

At the next window, she spotted something strange about the rod. With a small jump, she managed to knock it off of its perch. She caught it in midair and grinned as she noticed that it tapered a little less than halfway along. This was no curtain rod--this was a weapon. The baseball bat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A list of the weapons:  
> Candlestick, crowbar, garotte, pistol, poison, wrench, axe, sword, bat, batarang, knife  
> Every room has 3 clues--if there isn't a person or room card (there's one of each missing, after all), they get a bonus weapon. Good luck to anyone trying to follow along.
> 
> It occurs to me I could make this a game of sorts. What part of the Bat-mythos am I referencing with each room? These two are from different live-action franchises. Guess one or both successfully and win a fabulous prize.
> 
> As always, stuff happened. I was super busy, i accidentally started a 52 short-story collection, I watched a complete "let’s play" of Telltale Batman season 1 and started playing season 2 myself, I had actual homework I totally either ignored or forgot about and had to scramble to do...It’s been wild. School ends soon. In theory.


	7. Chapter 7

“Damian?” Tim called, his voice magnified in the huge ballroom. “You still in here?”

He looked around cautiously, his eyes scanning along the grand staircase. The carpeted, dark wood monstrosity climbed halfway to the exposed second floor before splitting off into two directions. He followed the right side around, turning to see the exposed second floor that circled back to the left side. No Damian...wait...

Tim only just managed to jump out of the way as Damian descended from the second floor. Years of working with the Batman kept Tim from swearing, jumping, or otherwise embarrassing himself. 

The smaller boy landed in a crouch in front of Tim, but immediately shot up to his full height and glared up at him. “I’m Master Malachite, you absurd child. Disrespect me again and I don’t care what I am under investigation for, it will be the last thing you ever do.”

Tim almost smiled. Steph would be delighted to see Damian was playing along. “I know you didn’t kill her.”

Damian’s eyes narrowed. “Obviously. Why tell me what I already know?”

“Because we can work together.”

Damian stared at him for a moment, then laughed. It was rather forced, but Tim got the message. “I have no reason to trust you, Crimson.”

“Maybe not trust, Malachite, but we can help each other.”

“Why do you think _I_ need _your_ help?” Damian sniffed.

Tim raised one finger to point at the chandelier directly above them. “You can’t reach it alone. The fact that you’re still in here when most of the rest of us have moved on means you’re still searching, and odds are it’s up there. You’re trying to figure out an angle.”

“Tt.”

“See, I spent quite a few rainy days with nothing going on exploring this place. So I know how to get to that chandelier.”

“Why not go up by yourself?” Damian asked.

“Because you’re here,” Tim said. “And if I want to do anything, I have to go through you.”

Damian eyed him, but the roundabout flattery seemed to get to him. “A temporary alliance it is, then.”

Tim nodded respectfully, then strolled over to the opposite wall and pressed a small panel. It retracted, revealing a control panel. “Get out of the way,” he ordered, flipping a switch.

With a loud groaning, the chandelier began to lower. Damian obediently stepped out of the circle the chandelier descended to. He glared at the chandelier as it touched the ground as if it had personally wronged him.

Tim smirked at the wall before straightening his face. Damian was already examining the chandelier from every angle before climbing into it, shoving a curtain of crystals out of the way.

“Find anything?” Tim asked. He heard a faint tutting muffled by the clinking of dozens if not hundreds of crystals. Damian seemed to be tugging at something, grunting in annoyance when it didn’t budge without a fanfare of chimes. 

Finally, Damian’s brown hand emerged, holding a wire with handles. The garotte.

Tim nodded, then, before Damian could replace the wire and remove himself, he dashed over to the wall and flipped the switch.

The chandelier slowly rose again, Damian ruffling a few of the crystals before seeming to find a steady perch on the metal beams. “I’ll kill you for this!” He yelled, voice cracking.

Tim was already running. He held back a chuckle as he yelled back, “Thanks for the assist, Master Malachite!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! School is done! Time to freak out about applying to college! [insert canned children cheering, hoots from those little horns you get at parties, the "we did it" song from Dora the Explorer...]
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented, left kudos, etc. With the time off, I've been able to work on how I'm planning on progressing the plot instead of just treading water and dropping clues. That said, it might still be a bit.
> 
> Also, for those of you wondering where Bruce is, he's "team building" with the JLA. Unavoidable (and man, did he try to avoid this). Just imagine them trying to handle The Wall with no powers and no gadgets.


	8. Chapter 8

Steph had a different strategy for tackling the game. She opted to find the person card and then leave, tacking on any other finds as bonuses. The singular focus meant she was able to tell friend from foe better than the rest, but risked the murderer figuring out her strategy and trying to silence her with murder #2. To make the game more fun and “realistic,” they’d added secondary murders: all the murderer had to do was tap the victim and tell them that they were dead.

Steph had hit it lucky when she found Dick’s card in her first room, since he’d so quickly offered up that his room was person-less. Otherwise, she might have floundered around, her so-called “strategy” saving little time. 

Now, with herself obviously crossed off the list, she had only two suspects left. The Icterines, the ones she had known for the shortest time: Duke and Claire.

She entered the library, her eyes sliding along the shelves of books--or, rather, excellent hiding places that Jason would probably legit murder her for accidentally harming in her search. This could take awhile.

Some time later (the library had only one clock that was hidden from most angles), Steph finally flipped open _The Mark of Zorro._ She saw a card inside, and was about to flip it when--

“What’re you looking at?” Duke asked, his head popping out from behind the shelf. 

Steph jumped a mile. “Yeesh, Duke, what’re you, Misfit 2.0?”

Duke stared at her in total confusion, then glanced at the small book in her hand. “Mr. Icterine,” he reminded gently, eyes never leaving _The Mark of Zorro._

She snapped it shut. 

“You found something?” Duke asked. 

“None of your business,” she said hurriedly. _Great way to not be suspicious,_ she thought to herself. Her heart raced. If she let him stay, and the card wasn’t him, then she’d know he was the murderer. Would he know that?

She met his eyes and took a gamble, opening the book and flipping the card over. “Mr. Icterine,” the card said, a picture of Duke eyeing the camera suspiciously behind it.

Duke nodded at it, then smiled at her. “Well, that was useless for me,” he said. “I’ll be seeing you, Lady Lilac.” He turned around and disappeared among the shelves. Steph heaved a sigh of relief and went to replace the book on the shelf.

“You figured it out,” Claire’s voice came from behind her. Steph nearly swore and dropped the book, catching it just in time with her other hand. 

Steph jumped into a fighting stance, book still in hand. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said.

Claire emerged from behind one of the shelves where she’d apparently been crouching. “ _The Mark of Zorro_ has this room’s person card. You’ve been going after person cards--leaving rooms earlier than everyone else. It makes sense you’d go to the library last, and your reaction to Duke shows that you were on your last suspect.”

Steph set the book down on top of the other shelved books (Jason would forgive her) and took off running, Claire behind her. 

Steph glanced over her shoulder and nearly swore. Claire was still some distance behind and didn’t seem to be using her powers to bridge the gap. Barbara would be proud. 

The next thing Steph knew, her torso slammed into the side of one of the bookshelves, and she bounced back onto her butt with an “oof!”

Claire ran up to her and tapped her on the head before Steph could get up. “You’re dead,” she whispered. Then, in a regular voice, “oh my gosh! Are you okay?!”

“I’ll be fine,” Steph said, feeling her side beginning to bruise. “It’s just my pride, basically.”

“You sure?” Claire asked.

“Yeah, fine, go, you’re defeating the purpose,” Steph said, halfway between amused and annoyed.

“Right,” Claire said. She stood up and scurried away, vanishing between the shelves.

Steph sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally satisfied with the writing of this chapter. However, if/when I revise it, the plot points will stay consistent even if the writing drastically improves. 
> 
> I'm curious--did anyone call this? I'd narrowed it down to four people (Tim, Steph, Duke, and Claire) according to my handy-dandy spreadsheet.
> 
> And don't worry, there are still surprises in store. Where and with what was the crime committed? Will anyone else put together what Steph did? Who will find her "body"? 
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed! I'm frankly kind of shocked by how popular this is--I might rework it in the future, since it's kind of a mess pacing-wise due to the weekly update schedule. Thanks for bearing with me! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Tim made his way through the library.

“Yo.”

Tim looked down, searching for the source of the voice. “Lady Lilac?”

“I’m actually the Corpse Formerly Known as Lady Lilac,” she corrected, peeking out from behind a bookshelf. He wandered over. 

“That sucks,” Tim said. 

“So what’ve you been up to?” She asked, scooting so that her back rested against the side of the bookshelf. She curled her knees in to rest her elbows on them. 

“I _may_ have sabotaged several months’ worth of careful diplomacy by trapping Damian in a chandelier,” Tim said cautiously.

Steph laughed. “Seriously? You’re not lying?”

“Why would I?” Tim asked. “See, he needed to get to the chandelier, and I knew how. So I offered him a team up and he agreed. I went over and lowered the chandelier and he climbed in to find the weapon, then I was just...standing there...staring at the controls...and I hit them and he went up.”

“That’s not going to hold him for very long,” Steph warned.

“I know!” Tim said, his voice rising in both volume and pitch. “I don’t know what I was thinking! I feel thirteen again!”

“You were a dumbass thirteen-year-old,” Steph commented.

“Exactly!”

“You better run,” Steph said conversationally. “Not that I’d mind having a companion in death, but I feel yours would be considerably more literal.”

“Yeah...Dami’s not the murderer.”

“It’s MASTER MALACHITE!” Damian declared, descending from above them, swords drawn. Steph simply swung her legs out of the way for Damian to land as Tim swore and took off running. Damian raced after him.

“Damian!” Steph yelled after him.

“Master Malachite!” Damian corrected as he ran. He was holding two blades, that qualified as scissors, probably. 

She knew better than to try and call him on it. “Nuh uh, I’m dead, screw you!”

“Shoot!” Tim hissed as his cape caught on one of the shelves, jerking him backwards and nearly strangling him. He clawed it off in a second, but Damian caught up and tackled Tim to the floor. Fortunately, he’d ditched the swords--perhaps they had only been props, although Steph doubted it.

“Jason will kill you if you mess up his library,” Steph yelled as Damian raised a large blade somewhere between a knife and a dagger to either pin Tim down or decapitate him (probably the former). “‘Sides, Tim’s got info, he’s more valuable alive!”

“That’s what he said before he betrayed me!”

Steph shrugged and met Tim’s eyes apologetically. “I tried.”

Tim muttered something under his breath and reached out, grabbing a book from the shelf and knocking the knife aside with it. Damian shifted to keep his balance, but Tim kneed him in the stomach and slid out from under him. He sprinted for the door. Damian followed him out, the door slamming behind them.

Steph shook her head and sighed. So much for family bonding. This was going to go from innocent murder mystery to hunger games any second now.

At least she wouldn’t fake live to see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA TAKE THAT, PROCRASTINATION!
> 
> We continue to slouch towards something resembling a plot. Come back next week, same bat-time, same bat-channel.


	10. Chapter 10

“Hi, O! I’m dead!” Stephanie’s voice wavered between forced chipperness and frustration.

Barbara, who had her back turned to the comm to examine security footage, jerked back in surprise. “Stephanie? Where are you?”

“Library.” An exaggerated gasp came over the comm. “Lie-brary!”

Barbara rolled her eyes. “Remember, just stay put.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Barbara’s eyes landed on a blinking red light. “Listen, I’ve got another call.”

“Fiiiiiine,” Stephanie said. 

“ _Contact terminated_ ,” said an automated voice as Barbara rolled over to the desk and slipped on her headset. She pressed the button to accept the call. “Hello?”

“Oracle?” Bruce’s voice said in surprise. “Where’s Agent A?”

“I gave him the night off. He’s at the theater, doubtless nitpicking the Gotham Theater’s depiction of The Taming of the Shrew to death.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s an actor.”

“No,” Bruce sighed, and Barbara heard the irritation building with some satisfaction. “Why did you give him the night off?”

“Because you wouldn’t. Also, we’re playing Clue, as I’m sure you know, and I know that something will get broken before the night’s over. Better he’s out of the house long enough for us to replace it.” 

“I needed to talk to him.”

“About your wall-scaling strategy?”

“No.”

“General tips and tricks for playing well with others?”

“ _No._ ” 

Barbara’s lips straightened, and she cut the teasing tone. “Campfire cooking skills?”

Bruce was silent on the other end of the line for several seconds. “...Yes.”

Barbara raised her eyebrows. “Well, I’m afraid he’s unavailable. So you’ll have to do some more bonding to try and find a cook.”

“Hnn.”

Barbara rolled her eyes. On the other side of the desk, the radio connected to Steph crackled. “O? O? We have a situation.”

“Something’s come up. Have fun.”

“What do you mean ‘something’s--’”

Barbara cut him off, whipped off the headset, and rolled over to Steph’s comm. Switching to “send,” she said, “what’s wrong, Steph?” before switching it back to “receive.”

“Tim (the dumbass bitch) sabotaged Damian, but Damian got out (of course), and now they’re fighting. I don’t _think_ Dami will kill him, but Tim _is_ being strangely stupid around him, so it might just happen.”

Barbara ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She glanced at the security footage, looking for them. 

In the deer-head study, Cass messed around with the junk on the table. As Barbara watched, she pulled up the head of the bust of Shakespeare and turned the small knob hidden beneath. She would find the sword in the secret room that it opened.

In the conservatory, Claire carefully separated the leaves and branches of the various plants, searching between them. She approached a large potted plant with spreading leaves and tilted the pot back, revealing a card--the winecellar, Barbara remembered.

And in the pool, there were Damian and Tim. Damian chased Tim around the edge, their feet sliding on the tile floor. They hit a puddle and tumbled, Damian grabbing Tim’s arm but getting pulled in himself. They flailed a bit, Tim pulling at Damian’s cape. They looked just as bad through the underwater camera--although Damian’s cape blocked most of the view, she could see them grabbing and clawing at each other’s arms and legs.

Barbara forcefully activated the waterproof comm on both of them. “Stop fighting before you drown!”

They seemed to ignore her, still struggling in the center of the deep end. 

Barbara clicked to connect to the closest person she could trust to break it up: Dick, currently searching the portrait-study. “Dick, Tim and Damian are drowning each other in the pool, get over there now.”

Dick turned to the camera and dashed from the room, hand raised to his forehead in salute. Moments later, he reappeared in her footage of the pool. He yelled something, and Tim, when his head bobbed above water, said something back. 

Dick ran to the wall and tossed a floatie at them. Tim grabbed it with his long arm and shoved it at Damian. Was he still trying to…

Barbara blinked and looked over at the underwater cam, watching Damian’s cape and several hidden weapons fall to the bottom. Were they...trying to help?

Damian grabbed onto the floatie, paddled for shore, and then, with a look of disdain, threw it back at Tim. Tim grabbed it and took off, reaching the poolside just after Damian. 

Dick helped them both climb out, then grabbed them firmly by the shoulders and launched into a lecture. From their body language, Barbara could tell Tim was trying to argue, while Damian stood straight and resigned.

She rolled her eyes and sighed in relief. Stupid kids.

Leaving the lectures to Dick, she noticed that Bruce was trying to call her back. She slipped the headset back on. “Hello again.”

“What came up?” Bruce’s voice was firm and flat, which meant he was worrying pretty badly.

“Damian and Tim fell in the pool. They’re fine, Dick is chewing them out right now.” She watched the pool footage, where Dick had no intention of slowing down anytime soon. She probably had time to make popcorn if she so desired.

“How did that happen?” Bruce asked, accusing.

“Whatever you’re guessing, you’re probably right,” Barbara said.

“They were fighting again?”

“Truly, the World’s Greatest Detective.”

Bruce exhaled, and she couldn’t tell whether it was a snort or a grunt.

“So,” Barbara changed the subject, “how’s the team bonding?”

“Fine.” 

“Did you find something to eat?”

“Yes.”

“Who figured it out?”

“Diana. She was in the Amazon girl scouts.”

“The what now?”

“They didn’t call it that, but that’s what it is in effect.”

Barbara’s mouth split into a smile that verged on a grin. “Wait...so if your thing is to always be prepared, and Superman’s nickname is the Boy Scout, and Diana actually got her ‘woodland foraging’ badge, then the 'Big Three' of the JLA are just a bunch of scouts.”

Bruce was silent on the other end of the line.

“You still there?”

“Yes,” Bruce said with obvious reluctance.

“You should do endorsements.”

“Hanging up now.”

Barbara grinned. “Have fun!”

Bruce hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who wondered where Bruce was, some more details on his team-building with the JLA.
> 
> Alfred was in the first scene, but that was a brief cameo before he headed out. 
> 
> The Amazon girl scouts are a thing that I heard of Donna doing once, although that was in a recap so idk what their actual title was. 
> 
> Tried to give you a bit more than usual because I skipped last week. I was at camp--no time and no wifi.


	11. Chapter 11

Damian threw the floatie back at Tim, who took it without particularly needing it. _He_ wasn’t the one with the cape and the weapons on him. Still, he dragged it toward the edge as he swam toward the furious Dick. His hands hit something smooth, not wet-smooth, plastic-smooth, and he pushed the floatie in front of him to take a closer look with it hidden from the others.

There, stuck to the underside in a small waterproof pouch, was a card. The Hall, he’d guess, though several drops of water made it difficult to read.

He made it to the side and placed a hand on the ground, only for Dick to grab him under the armpits and haul him up.

“What were you _thinking_?!” Dick yelled, seizing both of their shoulders. “You could have died! After everything you two have gone through, you could have drowned in the pool!”

“Tim sabotaged me,” Damian said quietly, meeting Dick’s eyes and standing up straighter than Tim thought possible.

Dick looked over at Tim, his eyes asking why he would do something so stupid and asking for an explanation before incredulity boiled over into anger.

“I let the chandelier go up while he was in it,” Tim said. “Not my best move. Then he chased me, but that was fine. Prop swords. Didn’t hurt anything.”

“Except that one book. Todd will kill you,” Damian said with a bit too much glee, drawing Dick’s attention.

“It wasn’t badly damaged!”

Dick squeezed their shoulders. “Stop. Both of you. Why were you still fighting in the pool?”

“I was trying to save his life!” Tim said, scandalized.

“I didn’t need his help, I was trying to get him off me!” Damian insisted.

“You were wearing like 30 extra pounds--”

“You think I wasn’t trained for scenarios like this--”

Dick sighed infinitesimally. “Stop it! You were stupid, and foolhardy, and endangered yourselves and the secret. Drowning in a pool is a _stupid_ way to die.”

Chagrined, Tim slumped. He imagined Damian was doing similarly, with better posture. 

“Yes, Grayson.”

“Sorry, Dick.”

Dick finally sighed, glancing at the clock. “You’ve got five minutes before the game ends. Get searching--separately. You might find something still.”

Tim thought of the card, sitting comfortably underneath the ledge at the edge of the pool, and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins to end! 
> 
> Fun fact of the day: it is possible to get the side effects of a booster even if you didn't get them from the initial vaccine. The more you know.
> 
> Also, if one of said side effects is faintness and nausea, it's a bad time to read up on U.S. politics. The more you fuh-reaking know.


	12. Chapter 12

Everyone’s comm buzzed at once with a message from Barbara.

“Time’s up, come back where we started. And yes, I do have video cameras and tracking devices on you all, so don’t try to cheat.”

* * *

In the hallway outside the pool room, Tim muttered, “fudge,” and turned abruptly around.

* * *

On the other end of that hallway, Damian tutted his displeasure at his investigation being cut short.

* * *

In the library, Steph pushed herself up along the bookshelf’s side, stretched, and strolled toward the exit.

* * *

Duke easily stepped over the ropes that marked off the game’s hall-room from the rest of the hallway, casting one last longing glance at the chairs he’d never gotten a chance to inspect.

* * *

Dick strode past Tim as he left the pool. He ruffled his little brother’s hair on the way, the wet strands standing straight up with the light coaxing. Tim glared at him.

* * *

Jason idly spun his prop pistol around on his finger as he allowed himself one last once-over of the study. He glanced up at the ceiling and spotted an odd shadow in the light fixture. Not a card, but a knife. He grinned, turned, and scurried out of the room before Babs could disqualify him.

* * *

Cassandra’s fingers were just brushing over the axe when Barbara called the end of the game. She tugged on the handle, revealing the whole prop from its hiding place in a potted plant. Hurriedly, she shoved it back in and ran out of the room.

* * *

In the winecellar, Claire breathed hard for a few moments to collect her thoughts and steel herself for the coming challenge. She had to do her best to keep seven of the best detectives in Gotham, if not the country or the world, from realizing she was a “murderer.” And that was only if none of the others had done what Stephanie had and put it together on their own from the clues. She tugged her remaining glove back up her arm and started walking fast for Barbara.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the game ends

“Why’d you pick her?” Steph asked. She spun in her chair next to Barbara, who was resolutely watching the various security feeds to make sure everyone was reporting back.

Barbara shrugged.

“Is this hazing?” She asked.

“No.”

“Why, then? Did you get a randomizer or some dice or something?” Steph asked.

“Shhh. Cassandra just came in. That’s everyone.”

Steph cracked her knuckles. “Let’s see how good this pledge is.”  
, 

* * *

Claire sat in the same room where they’d started, looking around at everyone else in an attempt to look casual. She wrung out the wet glove in her hand into her lap over and over, wrapping it around her hand, unwrapping it, then twisting it and untwisting it.

“Where’s Lady Lilac?” Dick asked.

“Dead,” Tim said. He was soaking wet, his hair hanging into his eyes in a way that threatened Bruce’s place as the most emo Wayne. 

“Tt,” Damian said, his eyes narrowing. “How do _you_ know, Crimson?”

“I saw her body in the library,” Tim said.

“When?” Duke asked.

Tim shrugged. “After I trapped Malachite in the chandelier--”

“I was _not_ trapped!” Damian snapped.

“--before the officer pulled us out of the pool.”

“She was fine when I saw her there,” Duke commented. He glanced over at Claire. “You were there around that time, right?”

Claire’s heart took up an even more rapid tattoo. “Yeah. Right before I went to the hallway.”

“Malachite, was she dead by the time you got there?” Dick asked.

Damian tutted again, crossing his arms. His sodden cape clung resolutely to his shoulders. “I believe so.”

“Yeah, she was,” 

“Alright,” Jason said, “so it has to be Mrs. Icterine or Professor Crimson.”

“Why not Mr. Icterine?” Dick asked.

“I saw him in the library at the time of my dear old ma’s murder. Couldn’t have been him.”

“Speaking of which, anybody got the location?” Dick asked. 

“Study one,” Cassandra piped up. She glanced around, daring anyone to contradict her. No one did.

“Anyone could know that!” Damian scoffed. 

Claire elbowed him as casually as she could under the circumstances.

“And, uh, weapon?”

“Isn’t that a job for forensic analysis?” Damian rolled his eyes.

“Is it the baseball bat?” Tim suggested.

Cassandra shook her head. “Saw it in the hallway.”

“Crap,” Tim said.

“Nice cover, _Crimson_ ,” Damian said snidely.

“You think I’m the murderer?” Tim said.

“You tried to stop me from finding the garotte wire!”

“That was an opportunity attack! If I wanted to stop you I could easily have killed you if I were the murderer!”

Claire’s eyes darted between them. Maybe this could be her saving grace. Then she caught Duke staring at her from across the room. 

“Did anybody find poison?” Duke asked.

Damian and Tim stopped arguing for a moment as everyone paused to think a moment. Slowly, they all shook their heads.

“Okay, so Cl--Mrs. Icterine or Professor Crimson in the first study with poison,” Dick summarized.  


* * *

“Come on, did _none_ of them find Tim’s card?” Steph asked. She’d flipped around the chair and was seated with her legs on either side of the back, her chin resting on one arm with the other flung out in indignation at the screen. “It was in the pool! Somebody has to have...oh,” she said, realization slowly dawning.  


* * *

“Let’s separate them,” Jason suggested. “I got Poindexter, you get the heiress.”

Tim eyed Jason nervously. “As long as Malachite goes with the others. I’m filing a restraining order.”

“Tt,” Damian said, crossing his arms.

Jason spun his unloaded gun on his index finger. “Sorry, kiddo. You’re the bigger threat.” He grabbed Tim’s arm. “Come on.”  


* * *

“So, Ms. Icterine, nee Greige,” Dick said, pacing in front of her chair. “That is your real name?”

“Yes,” Claire said. 

“Would you like something to drink?” 

“Water.”

Dick left, presumably to grab a glass.

In front of her, Duke studied her intently, his arms crossed. 

“Honey,” Duke said, stepping closer to her. 

Claire flinched.

Duke backed away. “Greige…”

“ _Icterine_ ,” she snapped. 

“How soon did you leave the library to go to the hall?” Duke asked.

“I…” Claire thought a moment. 

“Did you see Lady Lilac?”

Claire frowned. “I don’t…” 

Duke knelt in front of her, taking her bare hand in his. “Please tell me.”

She leaned toward him, her mouth brushing his cheek as she moved to his ear. “I saw her murderer. It was Crimson.” She breathed deeply, letting her panic show. “He’ll kill me if he knows.”

“Darling…” Duke breathed, his fingers tracing circles across the back of her hand. She shivered, caught in a sudden chill from the wet parts of her dress. “I’m so sorry.”

Claire sucked in air like she was drinking water, her lips barely open.

“But Claire…” He whispered. 

The door burst open and banged against the wall. Jason swaggered in, followed by Cass, Damian, and Tim. 

“He’s clean,” Jason said. “Got the human lie detector to confirm it and everything. Looks like it’s Icterine after all.”

Dick ran into the room, glass of water forgotten. “What’s going on?”

Claire’s eyes widened. “Please, Duke, believe me! It’s not me!”

Duke frowned and shook his head. “I don’t believe you. I heard you talking to her when she died, placing you at the scene perfectly. I heard Tim talking to her after. Why would he stick around?”

“Why didn’t you bring that up?” Dick asked indignantly.

“It was circumstantial,” Duke said, standing up. He brushed off his pants.

“Duke…” Claire said as Dick removed his handcuffs from his suit and advanced on her.

“Was it all a lie?” Duke asked. 

_You know full well it is,_ Claire thought, a hint of a smile approaching her cheeks as she looked at him. He was setting her up for a dramatic moment, naturally. The game was up, she was free to simply act.

But she stopped just in time at the look on his face, the odd sincerity in his expression, his eyes studying her with curiosity instead of scene-dictated betrayal.

She hesitated. “No.”

Right before Dick could click the first cuff around her wrist, she launched herself at Duke and began to cry. “Icterine, please believe me, it wasn’t all a lie. I love you! You’re my husband!” 

“Ma’am, you have a right to remain silent,” Dick said. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.”

Duke extricated himself from her arms. “Goodbye, Claire.”

“You’ll visit, right?” Claire asked.

Duke smiled. “Of course.”

Dick steered her out of the room.

A moment later, they reentered along with Steph and Barbara. Steph gave a theatrical bow and swept her hand toward Barbara, bowing again for her. Barbara rolled her eyes.

“Good job, all of you,” Barbara said. 

Damian scowled. “I didn’t get to do much.”

Tim shrugged. “You got to see Jason’s gun-juggling.”

“And play Russian Roulette,” Jason added.

“With an unloaded gun,” Damian said, crossing his arms.

Cass laughed and ruffled his hair.

Steph cleared her throat and projected with a volume rarely acquired without shouting, “EVERYONE!” 

The room quieted. 

Steph smiled sweetly. “Thank you. Like Babs said, good job. You lasted way longer than I thought you would, Claire.”

Claire blushed and waved a hand dismissively.

“High praise,” Jason snarked.

“Hey! It is!” Steph insisted. “Anyway, everyone get ready for next month, when you won’t be able to kill me off, because I’m gonna be the narrator.” Her smile took a sharp left into “evil grin” territory as her gaze swept across the room. “Get ready for Mafia with Stephanie Brown!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. The end. I think this was honestly better in concept than execution, but I hope you found it enjoyable. I originally came up with this concept on my road trip home from Christmais 2017, and now, after Christmas 2018, it's finally wrapped up. Sorry for the delays.
> 
> Happy belated new year!


End file.
